Many Thanks to my friend, Patricia Garcia, who invited me to join the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, started by Alex Cavanaugh. Since my life has been torn in so many directions, I realize that I now need to learn to effectively participate in the IWSG group in order to receive the benefits.
I am still involved in caregiving for my sick husband, but if we can discover what specifically is wrong with him, there might be light at the end of my tunnel. The good news is that we are relocated and settled. The “Long Winter’s Nap” that I yearned for is now part of my daily routine. Additionally, I have picked up Jonathan Evison’s book, “The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving… A novel.” My hope is that it will help me structure and sort through my thoughts and ideas about writing about my experiences of caregiving. Yes, maybe I can actually throw some humor into this horrific situation.
But, this brings me to another issue… my fear, lack of confidence, and my negativity about my capabilities. Yes, I have published a couple of short stories. Despite my working to submit more stories nothing has been accepted. Heck, I don’t even receive rejection letters… nothing! When this happens my mind stays stuck like a record in the wrong groove as I replay my mother’s words about my lack of capabilities. It is amazing the damage family history can play on our psyche!
Consequently, I need to keep learning, growing, and erasing history. I need to actively work at supporting others so that I will receive support in return. I need to step out of my hiding place too. Is there anyone out there that feels as I do?
This is my third year of surviving my A to Z Blogger’s Challenge, but this year was quite multifaceted. I did not think I would survive the Challenge because of my husband’s illness, and our decision to move. Yet, what I discovered is that because of my focus on the subject of caregiving my thoughts came more readily than in years past. Initially, since my husband’s illness broad-sided me, I gushed emotion. My feelings spilled out all over the place.
However, eventually my brain and my heart communicated as I realized that my friends and readers might want to know what I was undergoing, how my husband and I were functioning together, and the results from our experiences. Sooner or later my posts showed the positive side of my husband’s and my actions and not just the sad and frustrating aspects of caregiving. Today’s quote on my calendar shares a good overview of my experience: “Nothing WORTH HAVING comes easy.”
Caregiving for family is NOT easy as besides the duties associated with caregiving, you have the emotions connected with your relationship… for whatever it is worth. Caregiving for someone you don’t know or have a relationship with would not bare the extreme emotional aspect that I experienced with my husband. Even, when I helped care for my mother the dynamics were quite emotional as we had a long line of baggage we had not dealt with in my growing up years.
Since my brief overview of caregiving for the Challenge, I have run into friends who are also caregiving for family. They appreciated my being open about how emotional and challenging caregiving can be for family. These people had assumed that taking on the project of caregiving for their loved ones would be easy. SURPRISE!
So the words of wisdom for your caregiving project is to “Give yourself oxygen first, before you try to care for another person!” Thanks to the many people who supported me in the Challenge as I truly appreciate your support… I NEEDED it! I SURVIVED!
Good morning, all,
It’s the first Wednesday in the month and IWSG Time has come around again.
I thank Alex Cavanaugh for creating the group and my friend, Patricia Garcia, for inviting me to join.
Currently, I’ve been overwhelmed as I have just completed April’s A to Z Blogger’s Challenge. This year is the first time that I disclosed a theme, Caregiving, as I am in the midst of caring for my sick husband. To add to the fun, I’m also literally in the process of moving. I’m a split personality as I’m here, my books are there, and I have no idea of where I’m going to put the rest of my belongings. There is some light at the end of the tunnel as we will complete our move May 14th. Wish me luck at finding anything!
In the process, our cable company turned off our cable as we could not get it through their heads that we needed cable at both residents. Fortunately, I was without the use of my computer after the April Challenge.
Writing for the Challenge helped me process my thinking. I started out by whining or expressing my emotions as I was going nuts. I guess I needed the outlet. Eventually, I realized what I was doing, and worked at providing more information about the caregiving process, as it is not as simplistic as some people might imagine. Being open and real is highly important to me, in my writing. With a husband and wife, part of the caregiving process is dealing with our emotions… what are they and why are they suddenly appearing. There is also the process… running up and down stairs for meds and foods. I also had to deal with my husband’s passing out and taking him to Urgent Care because of the damage he did to his body in his falls.
Now, as my husband becomes healthier, the dynamics change somewhat. I have relief from some of my work as my husband can help care for himself now. It has been four long months and I’m very tired, but relief is in sight.
I still need to analyze my caregiving process more thoroughly so that I can clearly show people what I experienced. But the Challenge was a great start for me as it made me think.
Amazingly, I survived the Challenge. My writing is beginning to take form. My husband survived my caregiving, and like the Little Engine that Could, I’m still chugging up that hill moving boxes to our new home.
This has been quite a process for me to be a caregiver, write, and move all at the same time. I so dearly appreciate all the support I received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Today is the last day of the 2016 A to Z Blogger’s Challenge and I can’t believe I survived! This month, besides the Challenge, I have been caring for my sick husband, preparing to move, changing addresses, and moving bit by bit. My life, my books, and my world are upside down.
There is nearly Zip, Zero, and Zilch for me here in the house. I’m stressed so I must look like a Zombie with non-focused, bug-eyes, yet I still attempt at some form of being Zany. But, I’m dead to the world… so I give up!
I’m probably so tired that my brain has Zipped off for a vacation, but in the process of driving home from running errands today, I looked in my rear-view mirror and what did I see, but a Zombie in the car behind me. It appeared to be a Changling as I could not determine if the figure was a man or a woman or even what color skin the zombie had. The size of the head changed, the face changed, the style of the hair cut changed every time the figure moved. The head ballooned into a gigantic black figure with a box-cut hair style and black glasses one minute. I turned my head to look again and the head shrunk to a pea-size. I never was able to determine what the figure actually looked like. I SWEAR I’m not on any meds or Pot!
Evidently, I have lost my marbles in the process of writing the A to Z Challenge along with my other activities and duties. The Challenge evidently taxed my brain!
Thank you for stopping by my blog to read and comment. I was not able to be as social this year in following others’ blogs because of all my various duties, so please forgive me. However, this year I did focus on one subject… my caregiving. It honestly has been a tough ride for me, so I DO appreciate your support!! I SURVIVED!!! Gwynn
“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” Author Unknown
“A happy life is spent in yearning, earning, and learning.” Lillian Gish
“Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.” Brenda Shoshanna
I am yearning for our move to be complete and for us to get settled in our new home so I can enjoy my LONG winter’s nap! I yearn for my life to ease up as I feel like the world is riding on my shoulders. I yearn for a break!
Then my husband yearns for his health to return. He has learned a very hard lesson about living life in a healthy manner. Due to his unhealthy life style he now pays for his mistakes via low blood pressure. He yells in the middle of the night after he passes out as he voices his frustration and scare with his predicament. He does a great job of startling me too. I also yearn for his health to return. I hope it is possible.
My husband has hurt himself in numerous ways, both physically and emotionally so he yearns to have a normal and happy life again. BUT he must change his ways. Change is hard to come by.
What is fascinating to me is that today when my husband visited his doctor for his last check up from the hiatal hernia surgery, the doctor said that usually more women than men experience hiatal hernias… it is part of growing old… so yearn for healthy ways so you don’t grow ill like my husband.
When you are frustrated do you sometimes yell to express disappointment or anger or depression? Sometimes after one of my husband’s events, he yells and yells like a little kid, as he wants his former life back. His expression indicates his lack of patience in his attempt to grow and change. Sadly, progressing to a healthy life style takes time as we need to define what needs to change, create a plan, and then actively work at morphing. Sometimes it seems impossible to bring about the necessary transformation.
What our heart desires is sometimes difficult to come by. Yearning by itself will not solve the problem. Of course screaming doesn’t solve the problem either… but sometimes it sure feels good!