How Do We Deal with Change; Or Do We?

Only the fairy tale equates changelessness with happiness… Permanence means paralysis and death.  Only in movement, with all its pain, is life.”  Jacob Burckhardt

“One never knows what will happen if things are suddenly changed. But do we know what will happen if they are not changed?” Elias Canetti

“Nothing is stable. Nothing absolute.  All is fluid and changeable.  There is an endless “becoming.”     Benjamin N. Cardozon

Webster’s Dictionary defines “Change to alter or make different; to put one thing for another; to shift; to quit one state for another; to exchange, to become different; alteration; that which makes for variety; a child left in place of another taken by the fairies.”

Ahhh, a fairy tale, where everything is happy and never changes.  I grew up with so many fairy tales, I assumed life would be just like Sleeping Beauty’s or Cinderella’s life. Then life changes, my story changes, my ideas change, and I don’t know which direction to head. How do I deal with change?

I feel like my life has been Photoshopped as I morphed from one figure to another without even realizing it. How did this happen?  I thought I would grow up in the wilds of Kirkland, but I had no idea of what I would do when I grew up.  Then change happened!  We moved to a new state, a new culture, and new people in my life – I can’t call them friends as we never connected.  Then we moved again, more and different schools.  I drew further and further into myself.  I tried very hard to become invisible, as I didn’t know what to do to fit in and I always felt like a freak, especially since I am tall. I was afraid to talk to people.        

Most of my life I have been independent as I didn’t know how to connect with people.  So now, here I am in my 60’s.  I have a bad back, so my Physical Therapist recommended I walk for exercise.  I started walking a route that was a teeny bit like a roller coaster ride.  I was walking up and down mini hills.  I was bored as there was nothing exciting to look at and no people to say “hi” to on my walk.  But my back decided I needed a new route to walk as it would constantly go out as I reached the end of the street, and then I had to figure out how to get back to my car.  Did I crawl or call 911 or what?  So, my Physical Therapist recommended a flat route for me to walk.  The route we picked for me to walk was circular, so I could park in a convenient location should my back go out.  I walk along the Poulsbo waterfront, walk up a few stairs to the town and walk back toward the waterfront.  Along the route I periodically would see people to say “hi” to.  Plus, lots of people walked their dogs, so they let me pet their dogs.  I was in Seventh Heaven!  I figured I would be alone most of my walks, but I could enjoy the greenish/blue of the bay, and the crystal-clear sky as the Bald Eagles, Osprey, Heron, and Seagulls flew over my head.  I started walking my laps around Poulsbo five times daily.  Periodically, I would hear “I JUST saw your twin sister go ‘that way.’  We would laugh, and I might reply “I wondered where she went!”

Day after day for nine years I walked my circles around Poulsbo and slowly I would meet more people and repeatedly run into the same people, so we would say “hi” to one another.  I would pet their dogs too.  Gradually, my old self who tried to be invisible became visible, open, and friendly.  People in the shops would wave at me.  People driving by in their cars would honk and wave at me.  What in the world happened to the quiet, shy Gwynn?  Plus, I would be shopping away from Poulsbo at Costco or Trader Joe’s and strangers would come up to me saying, “I see you walking in Poulsbo all of the time!”  Now, I talk to strangers and some of the homeless people.  Nearly everyone knows me now.

But change still occurs as some of my Poulsbo friends move or pass away.  Plus, old buildings that have been vacant for years are being renovated and even the construction workers say “hi.”  I’m learning that change is constant, and the exciting part is that I AM dealing with it.  The old Me is now a changed new Me.  Or maybe I should say the young me is NOW old, but I’m having way more fun.  Change is good after all!

About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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10 Responses to How Do We Deal with Change; Or Do We?

  1. Tina Peterson says:

    So true! I love this approach.

    • Hi Tina, It is great to see you here. I JUST added this story and was editing my “About Me” page. Man, you are FAST! Thanks for commenting. Change is HARD, but I realize I am different than who I was in high school.

  2. It’s so interesting that you wrote this. I am up to my eyeballs with changes. Changes to where we live, which was voluntary, and changes to my health that were not. I realized recently that I have been resisting change, and now I’m trying to get out of my own way and let things unfold the way they are meant to. This is not an easy feat for me, but I’m a work in progress. Thanks for a great post!

    • Thanks for responding Nadine. I HATE change! However, I realized that as I aged and felt more comfortable about myself, that I am coming out of the box. I always felt that I needed my family approval, unlike my brother. Plus, I was so uncomfortable in new areas with new people, I really did hide. So, it is nice to accept me for me now. You TOO can do it! 😉

  3. susan scott says:

    Such a great post Gwynn – lovely to read and gain a glimpse into your life and how you’ve navigated changes. The only constant is change! Best to embrace it or make friends with it as there’s no point in resisting it. Some of the changes in the world are of course awful such as climate change and greed and profit being the prime motivator to mention just one change –
    ‘I feel like my life has been Photoshopped as I morphed from one figure to another without even realizing it’ – your words, so true and cleverly expressed. Maybe a call to pay more attention is the message it carries for me 🙂

    I love your quotes and graphics. Thank you 🙂 xx

    • Thanks Susan for your comments. As I mentioned, I’m terrified of change. I wanted to live in the same house, with the same friends, etc. but guess what, life doesn’t work like that. The moves we made were VERY hard on me and I was bullied a lot, so I drew further and further into my box. However, now I’m pushing 70 and the light is going on that Change can actually be good. I love making my friends. I miss the old ones I no longer see, for whatever reason, but I keep making new acquaintances that actually benefit me. In the past, I lived in the sorry of missing my former friends. I am MUCH more social than I ever was and I have some great laughs, which is VERY beneficial to me, as my life IS stressful. Staying healthy is important, and change is a crucial part of that issue, I discovered.

      You definitely experience change with your moves, but life will settle down for you and I’m sure you will see the change as a benefit too. I’m sending BIG HUGS!

  4. I’ve changed things about my life so many times it’s crazy! I embrace change, the challenge of it. But I’ll also admit to being hasty at times and regretting it. I’m glad you’ve found a new path and are embracing the new challenge in your life!

    Thanks for commenting on my blog tour. I hope you were able to take advantage of the giveaway. I’d love for you to win a copy of my book.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Yolanda, Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog. Man, speaking of ‘change’ this virus sure is going to create some big changes. It already is impacting my life, as I can no longer walk Poulsbo until life becomes more normal. I really miss my walks and talks. But, I guess learning to adapt to change is a good thing, as it keeps us flexible.

      I can’t remember whether I was able to enter your book giveaway or not. IF I remember correctly, I don’t think I was able to enter the giveaway – bummer! I would have loved to have won a copy of your book. Thanks again, for posting on my blog. Stay safe and healthy.

  5. Hi Gwynn. Long time no see (blog/write). I see we’re all slowing down in blog universe. Unless I clicked on a late post, but I’ve refreshed the page, so hope I’m at the latest.
    So totally true, all you wrote. Change is constant, some good, some scary. We have no choice but to roll with it. Be wise to it. I try to do the best I can. Like you, I’m enjoying long walks on our open paseos and trails; don’t feel like driving to the beach, and some areas are closed. It’s a constant up and down, our crazy life. No complaints, calamities aside.
    Take care and a Happy New Year to you and your family.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Hi Silvia, It has been ages since I have posted. I’m having trouble finding anything to write about. Maybe, this is the change in my life. The world sure is crazy right now, so there is a LOT of changes taking place. However, my life if pretty boring as we mostly stay in our apartment, except for my walks in Poulsbo, and my grocery shopping. I absolutely LOVE my walks along the marina as I have herons, seagulls, ducks, and beavers to watch out in nature. Then I pet people’s dogs and watch the children play. It is SO refreshing.

      I hope you and your family are doing well. You take care too and a Happy New Year to you and your family.

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