R = Relationship

R

 

“ When she cry’s, dry her eyes.

When she laughs, laugh with her not at her.

She smiles, smile back.

She’s in pain or upset, comfort her.

Most of all love your girl,

Or someone who deserves her will.”

Author Unknown

 

“Remember the day we first

Started talking to each other?

Cause that’s what started you and I.”

Author Unknown

 

How do you have a relationship AND be a caregiver to your husband?  Suddenly the dynamics between two people seemingly change.  I have gone from shared roles to me doing virtually everything as my husband no longer has the strength or the capability to do his usual duties.  I feel like I have fallen into the role of mother and guide dog, making sure that he doesn’t hurt himself.

Relationship1

 

Even though my husband cannot help as in the past, I am hoping that with continued work on his part he will become healthier and stronger.  Teamwork is critical here as neither one of us can do everything without the support of the other.  I work at encouraging my husband to stay strong, to keep moving, and to keep his attitude up.  He needs to believe that he can become healthy again.

Relationship2

Sometimes I feel like the car ran out of gas and I’m pushing it up a steep hill.  Heck, it even picks up some speed as we reach level ground.  I look forward to when we find the gas station and his motor kicks into full gear again.  Yes, this has been back breaking work.  I’m exhausted!  I’m at a point where I’m ready for the downhill ride.  But, somehow we will get through this trauma together.

 relationship3

What do you do to encourage your loved one to make it through his illness or trauma?  What do you do for your health too!

 

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About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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13 Responses to R = Relationship

  1. pat garcia says:

    Gwynn,
    I am enjoying your posts and your quotes. This post is very special to me because all of the quotes are so true and are a reality I’ve met in my own life.

    Visiting from the A to Z Blog Challenge.

    Shalom,
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Yes, I know you are in a similar boat as me with your husband’s illness. It does change the relationship, but it can help bring people together too.

      As always, Thank You so much for your support and kind words.

      Hugs!!

  2. Gulara says:

    You are so right, Gwynn, care-giving can put a strain on relationship. My relationship with my husband got a bit out of balance in the last few years while we are focusing on our young kids. Now that both of them are at nursery, we are prioritising our relationship again. Relationships require an ongoing commitment. They are like flowers which need constant care and nourishment. Thank you for your thoughtful post.

  3. Gwynn Rogers says:

    In some ways, Gulara, my caregiving helped our relationship as it is/was pretty dysfunctional. My husband’s illness was a HUGE wake-up call in all aspects of his life. Change is critical. Thanks for your kind words. I DO appreciate you enormously! Hugs!

  4. Bish Denham says:

    Although it’s not the same relationship, I helped my sister take care of our mother. We learned early on that we had to take care of ourselves because if we wore ourselves out then what good were we to our mother? You have to get help when you can, you have to get some time alone, you have to recharge the batteries.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Bish, you are SO correct. No matter what the relationship, taking care of one’s self first is critical otherwise we don’t have the energy to take care of the person needing our help. I’m glad you and your sister took good care of yourselves. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Sukanya says:

    Relationship , Love , Romance is about making the ordinary moments extraordinary by being with each other . It is definitely not about exaggerated demonstration , like many may think . My topic is R for Romance , somewhat closer to your content too. Take care and hang in there.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Sukanya, Thank you for responding. Yes, a relationship includes many different aspects of life and often we don’t realize it until we get older or something serious happens. Romance is also a critical part of a relationship… at least to keep the relationship healthy. I’ll go check out your blog now. Thanks.

  6. Just be there for him, Gwynn. That’s the foundation. Very interesting and positive changes coming for you and your husband. I’m smiling.

    “Guide dog” — funny. I hadn’t thought of that one.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Yes, positive is happening. My husband’s health is improving in baby steps. Heaven’s knows if it ever will completely return. In some cases I DO feel like a Service or Guide Dog. 😉

  7. durba dhyani says:

    Sometimes I feel like the car ran out of gas and I’m pushing it up a steep hill. – beautifully expressed! More strength to you Gwynn, and I’d like to hope and believe that good things are just round the corner.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      I DO receive GREAT things daily. I have wonderful neighbors and friends. There is a huge amount of JOY out in the world. I deal with friendly people. I just would like to learn to sleep and shut my mind off. Thanks for your kind comment… see, there ARE good things out there! 😉

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