Warning: Beware of what you see in your visor mirror… or Denial Works!

“How confusing the beams from memory’s lamp are;

One day a bachelor, the next a grampa.

What is the secret of the trick?

How did I get so old so quick?”   Ogden Nash

 

 “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”  Mark Twain

“Nothing is more beautiful than cheerfulness in an old face.”  Jean Paul Friedrich Richter

 “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”  American Saying

 

A long-time friend and I recently experienced similar horrific experiences while driving.  Please learn from our near tragedies.  You may have noticed the warnings on your car’s mirrors that state that “items may be closer than they appear.”  When you look in the side mirrors or the rear-view mirror on your car you never can tell how close or far away the objects in the mirror really are.  Reality is tricky.

First, have you noticed that when you look in your bathroom mirror while brushing your hair or applying make-up that your skin appears flawless… no wrinkles, pores seem barely discernable, and you barely notice the hair on your upper-lip or on your chin?  Plus, we live life using our memory camera — remembering how we looked when we were younger.  You do realize that we manage to never age in our mind’s eye.

So the other day, after walking my laps down at the waterfront in Poulsbo I returned to my car all hot and sweaty.  Plus, the humidity had frizzed my naturally, curly hair up to look like a Brillo-pad.  I needed to do something to repair the havoc nature had created as I wanted to run some errands at the grocery store.  My rear-view mirror was positioned too high and too narrow to see my entire image so of course I decided to pull down my visor and open up the mirror on the back of my visor.  BIG MISTAKE!

Reality smacked me right between the eyes and I’m convinced my head spun from the shock.  YEE-GADS my facial pores looked like vast sink-holes and the lines on my face challenged the Grand Canyon.  The worst part of my shock is that somehow I had grown a white beard between the time I had put my make-up on in the morning to the time that I had been crazy enough to pull down my visor.

I was wondering if someone had pulled one of those crazy candid-camera jokes on me.  Someplace outside my car, someone had to be hiding and laughing their head off as surely they had replaced my visor mirror with some clown’s face.  Surely I don’t look THAT bad… do I?

So in talking to friends, I learned that they had experienced the same situation with their visor mirrors.  We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  One friend did suggest that “We could make a fortune if we could develop a pore-filler with a consistency just this side of wood putty.”  However, ultimately we remembered the printed warning on the mirrors “objects may appear closer than they appear.”  BEWARE of visor mirrors… they don’t tell the truth. Ok, in my case, denial works!

 

 

 

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About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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11 Responses to Warning: Beware of what you see in your visor mirror… or Denial Works!

  1. Susan Scott says:

    ha! ha! Ha! ha! (actually I’m crying – the exclamation marks are my tears). It’s true the bathroom mirror 1st thing in the morning lies to us .. but so does the visor mirror. In fact lies are all around .. lies, lines, linkles … who cares. I’m absolutely convinced that some beastly little goblin creeps around and paints some of my eyebrows grey. And that one on the chin? Two goblins ..
    I guess one could invent a visor mirror that reflects back all sepia or rose-like?

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Hey Susan, Rose-colored glasses work for me!! 😉

      To add another dimension to this story, I somehow managed to accidentally save a picture of me in my early 20’s as my screen saver on my computer. So I see ME everyday. When my granddaughter first saw the picture she wanted to know WHO that was on the computer. WHY… of course, that is me… can’t you tell??? 😉 Children… Harumph! 😉 Ah-ha… that’s it… I have to figure out how to download my screen-saver to my car’s visor mirror!

      Thanks for your empathy!

  2. Haha. No, mirrors aren’t always our friends. They only show what I want to see in poor lighting, from the distance, or after applying heavy makeup (which I don’t anymore). So, I made a deal with my mirrors. I don’t consult them unless the place is semi-dark or I’m nice and ready to see what I want to see. And in all those events, they show me what I want to see. In any other event, I only cast a cursory glance from afar. 🙂 So far, our deal seems to work.
    Fun post, Gwynn.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Most of the time I’m happy with my mirrors. However, NOW the visor mirror is in DEEP TROUBLE! 😉 I have MY mirrors fairly trained… now I have to work on training my physical therapist’s mirror and the floor to ceiling windows that I walk by everyday on my walks!

      Just wait!! You are YOUNG! Give your mirror another 20 years or so. Then we’ll see how well trained they are. I’m glad you have your mirrors in Obedience Training NOW!! Excellent thinking! 😉

  3. I thought I was in the funhouse, but, wait — no, it was a department store dressing room. There, again, we have the mirror problem. Why do they have to install those garish fluorescent lights? Why not candlelit dressing rooms; better still, candlelight and wine.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Hey Samantha, I think you have an EXCELLENT idea there, with the candlelight and wine in dressing rooms. Those fluorescent lights definitely don’t show us off at our best! I think we should make this suggestion to the department stores. I’ll bet they will sell more, if they served more wine! 😉

  4. patgarcia says:

    Hi,

    Funny article. I must admit that I don’t have a problem with the hair since my hair is typically coarse hair that is very different from caucasian hair. As for aging, so far I’m thankful. I wake up every now and then with an ache or pain, but to be honest with you, I am happy to be living in this part of my life. If there is anything I wish, it would be that I knew back then what I know now because I would have relaxed more.

    Ciao,
    Pat

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Hi Pat,

      It is great to hear from you again. Hopefully, my blog is cooperating and letting you know that I have responded to you.

      I do chuckle though as my mind definitely is stuck in a time-warp… back when I was 25-35. Heck, even my grandchildren want to know who the pictures are of on my Facebook page. They didn’t realize the pictures are of me. BUMMER!!

      Do you see yourself the same as when you were in the Army or have you adapted your mind-set? I do appreciate your support and comments!

  5. There’s always the times you look in the mirror in the car and see all the stray eyebrow hairs and think well I had better pluck those when I get home, but then looking in the bathroom mirror – tweezers in hand – they all seem to have vanished. Yet I still haven’t brought the tweezers out to the car.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Ohhhh, I’m laughing. I keep forgetting to take the tweezers down to the car. But, I wonder what reaction I would receive as people watched me pluck my eyebrows and other gray hairs from my face as I sit in my car down at the waterfront parking lot? 😉

      Thanks for stopping by my blog. Does this mean you are going to cruise through Poulsbo one of these days? Let me know if you do!

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