X – X-ray

X

“When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.”  Henny Youngman

 

“The colder the X-ray table the more of your body is required on it.”  Nicholas Cage

 

Let me tell you about the fun I had today, as I was the recipient of Myocardial Perfusion Imaging, better known as a nuclear x-ray of my heart or a “stress test.”  First, I want you to be aware that men invented x-ray machines back in 1875.  I think these machines must be related to the torture racks where people were drawn and quartered centuries ago.

You won’t believe this, but they were crazy enough to order me not to drink my daily green tea, nor could I have breakfast.  Would you starve a lion or a grizzly bear… NOT if you are smart!  So I packed my “snack” with me so I could eat later.  Upon my arrival the technician showed me a special waiting room for me to sit, drink a minimum of four cups of water, and pace the halls to work the water into my system, since they had injected me with something to open my veins.  I felt like an expectant mother walking the halls in attempts to encourage my little one into venturing into the world.  To kill the monotony, I challenged another patient to a race as we quickly strode up and down the halls.

After a rigorous morning of waiting, drinking water, and walking, the time came for them to inject me with the chemical for my stress test.  You will LOVE this.  After being injected, manhandled with electronic devices all over my chest, and plugged into a blood pressure monitor, the technicians finally ejected me from the recliner chair.  He sent me home with a note to TSA personnel saying:  “Nuclear Cardiology:  This patient had a Nuclear Medicine Procedure and may still have small amounts of radiation capable of being detected by radiation monitoring equipment.  The amount of radiation poses no danger to the public and is allowed by NRC Medical use regulations.”  Hmmm, I wonder if I glow at night?  So, if I ride the ferry soon, I have to carry this notice with me!  Now I have to worry about being considered a terrorist!  This is why it is called a “stress test!”

 

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About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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10 Responses to X – X-ray

  1. Susan Scott says:

    Well, I shouldn’t laugh but I can’t help it Gwynn! O boy I wish I was there to check you out! Are you still glowing? I mean after all those lovely walks in Paulsbo I’m sure you glow all the time …
    JUST back from the mountains … much to catch up on …
    Garden of Eden Blog

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Oh Susan I do wish you were here as we could have a great laugh. Yesterday in telling John’s son about my test, he told me that some of the police carry Geiger counters to pick up radiation. Doug said a patrolman happened to pick up a radiation reading from a car on the roadway. The policeman finally figured out which car it was and pulled it over. Come to find out, the driver’s dog had JUST had nuclear dye pumped into his system too… that’s what the Geiger counter picked up. I’m lucky I haven’t been pulled over too! At least NOW the stuff SHOULD be out of my system. But I do carry the note in my purse! 😉 Hopefully, I’m done glowing!

      Hey, our temperatures are supposed to hit 80 this week… I WILL be glowing red from the sun burn! 😉 Thanks for laughing Susan, as that is what I had hoped this post would do.

  2. Amazing they expect your results to come our negative after subjecting you to what sounds like a torture device. And no breakfast on top of everything else. Yeah, sounds like this medical approach needs lots of improvement. Loved the quotes, especially the humor in the first one. 🙂

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Hey Silvia, guys can come up with the craziest torture tactics for people. It truly is amazing. Take a look at my reply to Susan as you will see the other crazy “benefits” of having nuclear stuff pumped into your system.

      Thank you again, for stopping by to comment and putting up with my crazy days. I do appreciate you!

  3. Kimberly says:

    I doesn’t sound safe, you have to have radio active material in you to take a stress test. That sounds Stressful to me! Now you have to wonder if that could do more harm to you just to have a test to check your heart. Makes me think back to the days they would bleed people out to release the illness when in fact they were making them weaker.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Kimberly, you are correct in your thinking about the type of stress test I had to take. There is an alternative, but I can’t take the other test do to the design of the structure of my back. It would create too much pain for me. So the stress test is a lose/lose either way for me. At least now, the chemicals should be totally out of my system.

      Thanks for commenting.

  4. patgarcia says:

    Hi,

    Don’t think you glow at night, but I love the description of your day at having an x-ray. It is humorous and even though it has some seriousness, there is a lightness about it.

    Great job.

    Shalom,
    Patricia

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Thanks Pat for commenting. I’m past the “glow-in-the-dark” stage, at least according to the paper I’m carrying. It truly was a crazy day, and I don’t think anything serious is the problem. The doctor is strictly attempting to eliminate issues. Heck, if we can’t laugh about life, all we do is “freak out!” 😉

  5. What? No photos in this post? Seriously, do we NEED a stressful situation for others to know just how much stress we can take? Not eating breakfast would be enough to set me off. You wouldn’t want to be around me, speaking of grizzly bears.

    And what Kimberly says about bleeding people in the old days. Yep, my take exactly. Glad you made it through.

    Your posts are such a treat, Gwynn. I enjoy the descriptions and the laughs.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      The technicians were really nice guys, but being put through all of that nonsense WAS ghastly. Actually putting me near anyone with a white coat on, is stressful enough for me. I am happy to have survived the day. Now, I’m STILL waiting to hear the results. I guess I’m going to have to call the doctor’s office to pester them. On the other hand, “no news is GOOD news!”

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