Stuck on Knitting

“The advantage of sitting on your knitting needles is that it gives you a boost, and gets you up – and moving!”

“Somebody pull my knitting needles out!” I shrieked as I shot out of my chair.  I looked like a peacock in full plumage with my two skinny knitting needles stuck into my bottom with my partially knit sweater panel hanging down.

I had been absolutely convinced that I had plenty of room for plopping back into my overstuffed chair. As I had my knitting stuffed in the crack between the cushion and the arm of my chair.  However, I evidently didn’t realize that baggy sweatshirts were knitting needle magnets. As the needles, pierced my sweatshirt, jeans, underwear, and took root in my bottom, I shot out of the chair like a ball shot from a cannon.  Dancing around the family room yelling like a half-plucked peacock on drugs, no one appeared to remove the projectiles as my brother had run off to my parents’ room screaming, “Gwynn, sat on her knitting needles!”  A lot of good that does me!

Actually, I’m lucky that at the time we lived in a California beach town, as if I had lived up here in the Northwest that fall, hunting season would have started and I would have had to worry about a near-sighted hunter solving my problem for me.

Since no one came running to my rescue, I definitely had to take the situation in hand and pull out the needles. I wasn’t too interested in sitting down for several days but eventually I healed up just fine.

My advice to all knitters…….return your project safely to your knitting bag or you too may discover the joys of being stuck on knitting.




About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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8 Responses to Stuck on Knitting

  1. Hilarious, Gwynn. I like the “half-plucked peacock on drugs” image. Some of those hypodermic needles do feel like knitting needles. :-))

  2. Gwynn says:

    Trust me, I was definitely a DERANGED peacock, that was missing her drugs. Now, I think it is hilarious, but THEN I didn’t think it was so funny. Thanks!

  3. patgarcia says:

    Dearie, I am not a knitter. Somehow or another, home economics courses were classes that I dodged. At home, I would dodge anything that looked similar to cooking or whatever. After burning up the first few dishes, because I was reading a book, my daddy used to say, “Don’t let Patricia in the kitchen!” He was a wise man.
    I enjoyed your article lady. It made me think of the days when I was growing up.

  4. Gwynn Rogers says:

    I’m laughing… it is AMAZING that I remained a knitter after my experience with my combative knitting needles. I’m the opposite of you as I LOVE crafts and doing things with my hands… including reading… but I would knit and read or watch TV I couldn’t sit still and NOT be doing something!

    Growing up definitely is a creative and interesting experience. It’s amazing we survived! 😉

  5. you were right, I loved the story and giggled throughout it. I’ve never done this, but come close a few times, I vow to be more careful lol. Bless I’m so glad you healed up.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      I was about 15 when I united with my needles this day. You would be amazed at what knitting needles can do to your butt!! I definitely DO NOT recommend sitting on them. And the doctor wonders why I don’t like needles! 😉 Thanks for stopping by.

    • Do you wear glasses? I do, (and it’s still hard to see thread so I use big eyed needles or self thread needles when sewing) and I’m thinking of investing in one of those large eye glass things that go around your neck specifically for crafting…won’t I look a right sight then lol.

      • Gwynn Rogers says:

        I do wear glasses but they don’t make the yarns clear enough. I’m thinking I need Magnifying Glasses!! 😉 Also, if I’m knitting I can’t be here on the computer. So far the computer has won… unless I grow an extra set of arms.

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