T = Transformation


“Transformation means replacing old values with new ones in the evolution of conscious life.”  Kazimierz Dabrowski 

“You don’t go through a deep personal transformation without some kind of dark night of the soul.”  Sam Keen

“Growth and self-transformation cannot be delegated.”   Lewis Mumford

 Transformation defined means a “change in form, appearance, nature, or character.”  When one develops a serious illness, sometimes transformation is necessary in order to get well.  The question is will the patient, in this case, my husband, take the steps to change his life style in order to become healthy.  My fear was that my husband would not transform himself.


Initially I needed to be very blunt with him. My first step was to point out what he had been doing wrong: not eating healthy food, not getting adequate exercise, and not developing a balanced life.  The delightful news is that the doctor reiterated my words.  My husband could stay the same or he could die.  This was a “wake-up call” of great magnitude as my husband had never paid attention to what anyone suggested about his life.  Heck, what do we know, RIGHT?


Since my husband passes out so easily, we have started him on a high protein diet.  Plus, he is on medication to raise his blood pressure.  Each step brought a teeny bit of improvement in my husband’s health.  Thanks to the help of a friend and physical therapist, I convinced my husband to get his butt out the door and start walking every day.  The exercise exhausts him, but he is actually walking.  Heck, he even walks further and further little by little.  He is learning to eat a healthier diet.  He grumbles a bit, but he is eating healthy.  Yes, he still needs to lose weight and develop some friendships, but he is learning to be politer to people he interacts with periodically.  My husband is still weak.  He can’t heal overnight but he is improving… a baby step at a time.


As traumatic as this situation has been to my husband and me, my gut tells me it is a good situation… a wake-up call so that his life will improve.  He is not used to working with people.  He is used to giving everyone orders… this too has to change.  Slowly but surely, teeny step, by teeny step his life is transforming.  He may actually learn how to live a healthy life and my life will improve in the process… Keep on, Keeping on!!

 Transformation 3






About Gwynn Rogers

After 20 years of sales and marketing experience in the fields of real estate, high tech, and corporate travel, Gwynn has moved on to the career of “Grandma.” When not teaching her granddaughters an extensive vocabulary of “alley-oop-boop, ups-a-daisy, cowabunga or bummer”, Gwynn can be found hunting for mentors for the Kitsap Youth Mentoring Consortium, or chasing her fantasies on her treadmill. Gwynn currently freelances for magazines.
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14 Responses to T = Transformation

  1. Gulara says:

    Obstacles as allies. It’s wonderful how you two are transforming a challenging situation into an opportunity to transform your lives and John’s health. And I have a sense writing about these events helped you to process and transform your own feelings. Thank you Gwynn, you are a true inspiration!

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Thanks Gulara! Yes, writing about our experiences is helpful to me as it helps me to think positive. Before April I went down the alphabet and wrote out what immediately popped into my head. A lot of it is negative and scary. Eventually, I realized that people would not want to listen to all the garbage that was taking place but they would like to see some progress. I HAVE progressed too. Life has been VERY tiring and scary, but I’m surviving as I DO continue to take my walks and take time for myself. Not only do I keep myself happy, but I keep my back in working order too. We still have our ups and downs as my husband fell again last night. Passing out scares, humiliates, and frustrates him to pieces so then he goes into a tirade about wanting to commit suicide. I keep having to remind him that he has improved, but he ignores the improvement as it isn’t the giant step that he wants. Hopefully when we get into the apartment when we have people around it will make my husband’s life easier. Thanks for your kind words!! I do appreciate them and YOU!!

    • Gulara — Obstacles as allies — excellent thought. Have you every read the Carlos Casteneda “Don Juan” books? Your worthy opponent:obstacles as allies. Seeing my obstacles as my worthy opponents has moved me through many walls; seeing that helps me to evolve, and that is worthy.

  2. pat garcia says:

    I like the sentence “as traumatic as the situation has been….wake up call…
    Sometimes it takes such traumatic experiences to wake us up so that we change and experience the transformation you have written about.

    Visiting from the A to Z Blog Challenge.

    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      I do hope that my husband’s health completely is transformed. He is highly frustrated by the roller coaster that he is riding on. You might want to read my comment to Gulara. Thanks for being a supporter!! I do appreciate you enormously!

  3. A wake up call–absolutely, Gwynn. Sometimes, we get set in our bad habits, and life has this way of smacking us over the head and waking us to reality. A wake up call and second chance for improvement. I think you’re handling the whole thing exemplary well.

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      At 71, we’ll see if he has a second chance to improve. It will be a long uphill battle, for sure. I can’t control any of this… I can only ride with the tide and try to steer him in the right direction. Cross your fingers for me!!

  4. I like Sam Keen’s quote, Gwynn — the dark night of the soul. Absolutely true. But, I’m going to try to forestall that by at this very moment becoming a standing-up person (as opposed to upstanding), meaning getting up from my chair where I’ve been sitting writing all day and going downstairs and making dinner.

    I think Patricia was right in her comment on your “S” — “Sleep” post — this series of yours deserves a book. You have written of your experiences so well and so honestly. Publish them. They will help others (even maybe otters). 🙂

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      Through this experience with my husband, I’m learning of more and more people who have this passing out issue, but most of the people have heart problems. My husband doesn’t have a heart problem, but I DO wonder what causes his extreme low blood pressure. Even with the blood pressure meds, some nights my husband still passes out. This is a truly terrifying experience and we want to know if it can be fixed. I want to get a tire pump to keep pumping oxygen or something into him so that he stays standing up. Hmmm, I wonder if I can pump helium into him… what do you think? 😉

  5. Bish Denham says:

    Yup, one small step at a time. Like pennies, they start to add up!

  6. It is tough for people who have eaten what they wanted all their lives to have a wake-up call like this. People like you who are healthy before it comes to this are much better off…you never have to have that talk with your doctor! Plus, you get to live long, healthy lives

    • Gwynn Rogers says:

      I have done my share of mistakes along the food line, but I learned a LONG time ago to change my habits. My husband does things HIS way, except it nearly killed him. Who knows how long I will live, but I’m much happier than my husband is. Hopefully, he will change.

      Thanks for stopping by to comment Stephanie!

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